I'm goin' through changes
I'm goin' through changes
Lately I really, feel like I'm rollin' for delf like Philly
Feel like I'm losin' control of myself, I sincerely
Apologize if all that I sound like is I'm complainin'
But life keeps on complicatin' and
I'm debatin' on leavin' this world, this evenin'
Even my girls can see I'm grievin', I try and hide it
But I can't, why do I act like I'm all high and mighty
When inside I'm dyin', I am finally realizin' I need
Help, can't do it by myself, too weak
Two weeks I've been havin' ups and downs
Goin' through peaks and valleys, dilly dallyin'
'round with the idea, of endin' the sh** right here
I'm hatin' my reflection, I walk around the house tryna fight mirrors
I can't stand what I look like, yeah, I look fat, but what do I care?
I give a f**k, only thing I fear is Hailie
I'm afraid if I close my eyes that I might see her, sh**
I lock myself in the bedroom, bathroom nappin' at noon
Yeah dad's in a bad mood, he's always snappin' at you
Marshall, what happened that you, can't stop with these pills
And you fallin' off with your skills and your own fans are laughin' at you?
It become a problem you're too p**sy to tackle, get up
Be a man, stand, a real man woulda had this sh** handled
Know you just had your heart ripped out and crushed
They say Proof just flipped out, homie just swift out and bust
Nah, it ain't like Doody to do that
He wouldn't f**kin' shoot at, nobody he'd fights first
But dwellin' on it only makes the night worse, now I'm poppin' Vic's
Perc's and Methadone pills, "Yeah Em, tight verse, you killed it"
F**kin' drug dealers hang around me like yes man
And they gon' do whatever I says when, I says it
It's in their best interest to protect their investment
And I just lost my f**kin' best friend, so f**k it I guess then..
Don't know what I'm gonna do
But I just keep on goin' through changes
My friends can't understand this new me
That's understandable man, but think how bananas you'd be
You'd be an animal too, if you were trapped in this fame
And caged in it like a zoo, and everybody's lookin' at you
What you want me to do?
I'm startin' to live like a recluse and the truth is
Fame startin' to give me an excuse, to be at a all time low
I sit alone in my home theatre, watchin' the same damn DVD
Of the first tour, the last tour, he was still alive
And it hurt sore, fast forward, sleepin' pills'll make me feel alright
And if I'm still awake in the middle of the night
I just take a couple more, yeah you're muthaf**kin' right
I ain't slowin' down for no one, I am almost homeward bound
Almost in a coma, yeah homie come on, dole 'em out
Daddy, don't you die on me, daddy better hold your ground
F**k, don't I know the sound of that voice, yeah baby hold me down
[Chorus] + [Chorus Two]
Wake up in the hospital, full of tubes but somehow I'm pullin' through
Swear when I come back I'ma be bulletproof
I'ma do it just for Proof, I think I should state a few
Facts cause I may not get a chance again to say the truth
Sh** it just hit me that what if I would not have made it through?
I think about the things I would never got to say to you
I'd never get to make it right, so here's what I came to do
Hailie this one is for you, Whitney and Alaina too
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